seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
