I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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