I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
