the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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