I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Drake has all the answers
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
