I want to have your abortion
Don't make out with my wife yet
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize