i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
