after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
