This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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