problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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