don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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