He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
