the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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