i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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