I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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