why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
