To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
