My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
only if we run a train.
done.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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