No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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