is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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