If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
