I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
