Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
