Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
