using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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