I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
And then my night got REAL pukey
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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