just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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