i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
