There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
