Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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