She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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