I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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