HIV tests are more positive than that guy
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
