I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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