You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
