she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
