No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Did I show you my penis last night?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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