Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
