i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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