she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
