a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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