We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
