why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
