wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
