I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
