It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
