Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
