you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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