Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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