I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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