6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
