Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
