I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
