I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
