i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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