it wasn't lemon gatorade
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
