Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize