you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
