It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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