Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
