so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
