So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
