Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
