Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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