She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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