Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
