U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
