You can't motorboat a personality
false alarm. still invincible.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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