playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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