My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
