Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
