pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
