He is such a slut. More and more my type.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
