Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
