i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dick very happy bro
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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