If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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