dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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